Thursday, May 04, 2006

Little Things Aren't Intimidating

I've taken a little hiatus while Husband and I went to California, but I'm back at work now.

I'm learning one important thing. Once you start to take something seriously, it becomes very hard to do it. I already know that Sitting Down to Write is a difficult thing to do. And now I am learning that Sitting Down to Draw, Paint or Do Artistic Things is also difficult, once you start to think of it as something important. Immediately, this little nagging voice starts saying things like, "Write? Draw? Take photographs? Hah! You'll never succeed. You're a fraud! Go wash the dishes instead! Make yourself useful, you lazy ass!" I know, from reading so many books on creativity, writing, art and living well, that hearing this particular voice is normal and that it can be overcome. But it takes time and I am battling that little voice every day.

And yet, I have found one somewhat successful way to work in spite of that voice. I have to trick it into thinking I'm not really being serious and that I'm just taking a break from my real duties of cleaning the house and being a good wife (since I'm not working at a "real job" and I need something to show for my time). The voice does think of itself as generous, and does allow breaks. (Let me just add that this voice is all in my head and everyone in my life, most particularly my husband, has been very supportive of this new adventure).

So I've outlined a 3 x 5 index card all over my sketchbook, and I sit down for 5 to 10 minutes to fill them in. Not a lot of time to worry about perfection, and after all, this is play. Who cares about coloring in the lines? It also helps me get used to using colored pencils again, since I've relied on acrylic paint for so long.

Here are some of them. They're not perfect (and neither are my scanning methods). But that's the point.

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